Author: Hjortr (Hjo)




TIL that in ancient Rome, commoners would evacuate entire cities in acts of revolt called “Secessions of the Plebeians”, leaving the elite in the cities to fend for themselves


lets bring this back



Use w/ or w/o credit, just spread! This mouse will be the face whether Disney likes it or not



Hong Kong police = Terrorist.

This is the truth of what happened in Hong Kong last night.

To you who is reading this right now,

We, Hongkongers just experienced a terrorist attack planned and executed by our Hong Kong Police Force. At about 10pm today, our police force rushed into our railway system in Prince Edward station, got in to the carriage and indifferently beat up all the people in it regardless they are protesters or simply passengers. They ignored the weapon guidelines and fired tear gas indoor in the carriage which is in fact lethal. Also, they beat up innocent people causing them seriously wounded. Some passengers kneeled before them asking them to stop but the response they got were beaten ever harder. Meanwhile, the police haven’t arrested the passengers after they got beaten up, showing that the only purpose of their brutality was to sort their anger to violence but not dispersing the crowd.

Not only that, they refused to let first aider enter gated station with wounded inside even the first aider was begging and promising to ditch all his gears. He even pleaded that the police could beat him up after he has saved the people inside. The police still wouldn’t let the first aid team in.

We, Hongkongers are experiencing a humanitarian crisis and we hope that people all over the world can help us in anyways you can think of. Thank you and we will stay strong.












TIL plants make caffeine to defend themselves against pests. Caffeine is toxic to birds, dogs, cats, and it has a pronounced adverse effect on mollusks, various insects, and spiders.


Coffee plant: *evolves caffeine* Safe at last

Humans: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Why are we like this….

the fact that we can’t drink sea water even tho its the most common type of water just bc its 3% salt yet we can safely consume multiple forms of literal poison and even benefit from doing so just blows my fucking mind

Peppers: Now that I have capsaicin, no mammal will eat me! ONLY BIRDS. THE BIRDS WILL SPREAD MY SEEDS.

Humans: oh my god this burns so good

Peppers: wut

poppies: at last, i have evolved my sap to the point where anything that eats me will sleep… FOREVER

humans who are about to invent painkillers: hey guess what

tobacco: finally i can grow in peace, no more insects munching on my leaves.

humans holding matches: my, my, what do we have here?

Mint: Stay off me bugs or I’ll poison you!

Humans: Yeah I’m gonna need to put this poison in my dessert and mix it with chocolate. 

Aliens Studying the Planet: 



You know what time it is




New characters for the Pokemon anime.

Here’s Professor Sakuragi and his daughter Koharu with her partner Yamper. This is his research lab that he built in the Kanto region.

… oh boy. Here we go again.

Beyond Lennon Walls: Ways to support the Hong Kong protests from afar:


If you are citizens from the US / Canada / UK / EU / Swiss / Japan / South Korea / Australia / Taiwan / the Netherlands, and you care a lot about the situation in Hong Kong yet have no idea how to help : 

This article lists out many practical ways of giving support includes donation, petitions and references based on different regions.
(the article is multi-language)

Ongoing petitions:

Local HK groups open for donation:

Groups supporting protestors (both groups’ PayPal accounts are not working at the moment):

Groups supporting local HK journalists:

Non-profit, independent news organisations provide news coverage of Hong Kong:

Civil society research organizations:

Pitch in for supplies that protect people during police operations:

Thank you all so much for standing with Hong Kong!



i hope it’s okay that this one is stylized;; our dear time traveler must stay with the times if they must wreak havoc appropriately


Oh my god

Put him in Pompeii


May I present a humble alternative, where the goose is present during the bad thing happening, example:


You are my personal hero I hope you know this


Say no more






like this


Meme idea

Photoshop the goose from untitled goose game into the background of a photo of a place where something bad happens, but it’s a photo of before the bad thing happening, so it’s implied that the goose caused it


I was thinking about this he other day after my swimming class, and thought it would probably be an important observation for aliens in close proximity with humans. 

It turned out to be a nice, short little thing for you all 🙂 

The rec room aboard the U.N.S.S Harbinger was only partially full scattered here and there with an assortment of humans, a couple playing ping-pong against a single Drev opponent, having two more arms than you average human, while another group played pool or lounged around on the over-sized bean bags reading, drawing or listening to music.

Dr. Krill had only recently begun investigating the human activity known as “relaxation.” and so far he hadn’t made much progress. The Commander said he was too ‘neurotic’ for relaxation, whatever that meant, and Sunny pointed out that he ended to think to much to relax. Either way he was trying. Apparently it was acceptable to think during relaxation time, but not about one’s work. He wasn’t exactly sure who had made the rules about relaxation, but that seemed to be how it worked.

He leaned back a little further in the beanbag aware that he would not be able to get out on his own as sunken down as he was. He rubbed two of his upper limbs together as he stared at the ceiling.

From somewhere to his left  human purred contentedly, not really purring but more like a short hum, “Doing better than usual, Krill. Watcha thinkin ‘bout.” he chose to ignore the horrific grammar.

“I am thinking about writing a book.”

“Like another boring medical journal?” The human groaned

Krill sighed deeply, “Honestly, the way you talk always makes me forget that you’re supposed to be educated for a human.” 

“Ouch, and besides my degree was in aviation, I’m not a doctor. If it isn’t a medical journal, than what is it?”
Krill tapped his hands together, or what would be considered hands by human standards, “I am thinking about writing a sort of…. Care manual for the proper upkeep of humans.”

That earned him a snort and a laugh, “Like a ‘how to train your dog manual’.” The human laughed, “Krill, we are people, not pets.” Krill glanced over at the human aware of an irony the human didn’t seem to have picked up on. Lounging on a couch head resting on one of Sunny’s armored legs as she absently stroked his hair attention fixed on the pages of a weapons catalog. The human closed his single eye contentedly as she continued to ‘pet’ him.

“Uh-huh.” Krill acknowledged smugly.

“Alright, oh great expert of humankind, tell me what the first chapter is going to be about.”

Krill tapped his chin, a habit that he had picked up from the humans, “I don’t know, I was actually thinking something more towards my area of expertise. Proper ways of soothing a sick human.”

The human opened his one green eye eyebrow raised, “Well I have to hear this.”

Krill waved his hand, another human gesture he had picked up, “Well I was thinking about the importance of water for humans. I mean think about it what do humans do when they are upset, tired, sick, or in pain.”

The human thought for a long moment, “Um … sleep.”

“Before that?” 

“Uh, well, personally, a hot shower.”

“That’s it!” the human looked over at him curiously, “No other species I know of does that. Give a human the ability to soak themselves in warm water, and they will spend hours doing it. They do it for pain, sickness, stress, relaxation, social bonding. Literally everything. It doesn’t even have to be a LOT of hot water, just a shower or a shallow pool. Not to mention that you just love the use of water as a soothing agent in all generalities You consume hot water flavored with powder. You like to LOOK at water, tell me that humans don’t go to specific places to look at lakes or waterfalls or streams. You even put them in your buildings with fountains and things. Humans love water.”

THe human shrugged, “I mean yeah, probably because we are like 70% water ourselves plus warm water increases blood flow, AND if you get in the water than you can ignore gravity for a bit and relax. It isn’t a mystery.”

“Accept for the fact that humans also love the SOUND of water.” 

The human tapped his foot absently, “Ok, that’s fair…. I love space but….. Do I miss the sound of rain.”

“Exactly!” Krill exclaimed, “You like the sound of destructive storms, some of you even fall asleep to them. Doesn’t that seem strange  how humans like falling asleep to the sound of the most powerful destructive forces on the planet. Waterfalls, the ocean, a storm, and all of them water themed. I’m thinking about advising other medical professionals o use these sounds in clinics to soothe humans .” 

Sunny had stopped stroking the human’s hair to turn the page of her catalogue, and in annoyance he prodded at one of her extra arms. With a roll of her eyes she began stroking his hair again returning back to her reading, “Not that I disagree with you, but based on that logic, humans also love fire. Think about it, we have to use fire to heat our water, we love lighting things on fire, we use it as a decoration, we keep it in our homes, and I would argue that there is nothing more soothing than the sound of a fire.”

“Yes but not to the degree of water.” Krill argued, “you wouldn’t much like the sound of a forest fire would you because that’s TOO much fire, but yet you insist on playing in the ocean which is the definition of TOO much water. Plus, despite your love of lighting your drinks on fire, you generally aren’t supposed to ingest it.” 

The human gesticulated his hand’s wildly now invested in the conversation, “Ok fine, but how about air. We need air more than we need air. We breath it in, heat it up, move it around. I like the sound of wind against the outside of a house. We sit in rooms specifically built to heat up the air because it makes us feel good.”

“ok , but you don’t like it when a hurricane blows down your house.”

“I don’t like tsunamis either, or flooding. Everything on earth can be dangerous.” Th human pointed out.

Krill sunk a bit further into the beanbag. He was definitely going to need help getting up now. This would probably be a good source of restraints for some species seeing as you needed a fair amount of muscle and coordination to escape one of these death traps, “Your house burns down, blows over, or is hit by a rockslide and you are upset, but you can’t tell me that if the town floods you won’t find some human canoeing down the street.”

The human shifted his head to the other side, allowing Sunny to pet him at a different angle, “I won’t deny it.”

Krill tried to sit up, and failed, “All I am saying is that humans love water. You even like it frozen, you play in it frozen, slide down mountains of the stuff, throw it at each other, put it in your drinks, strap knives to your feet and dance on it. Humans love water, and that needs to be acknowledged as something useful for non-human dealing with humans. Even that tiny piece of knowledge will help you understand how humans relax and pass their time.” 

The commander frowned thoughtfully, “I mean that’s one way to talk about ice skating, but back to your point, our earth is like two thirds water, it would be really inconvenient if we DIDN’T like it.”

“Do you dispute my logic?”

“No, I think you may be exaggerating though.”

Above him, Sunny snorted, not entirely an accurate approximation of the human vocalization, but it was close,” This coming from the man who routinely takes 40 minute showers.”

The human glowered up at her, “You were listening this whole time?”

She turned the page of her catalog, “bits and pieces, and I agree with the doctor.”

The human waved a hand at her, “Oh shut up and look at your guns.”  Sunny smiled and flipped another page.

To summarize my point, humans, having come from a world that is covered in nearly 2/3s water, it is the single most important elemental compound in all its forms and can be utilized in one way or another to sooth, please, or socialize with a human. As a doctor I highly recommend its use in the context of extra-medical therapies.